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Friday, October 30, 2009
Rest in peace.
I know a 76-year old lady who has recently been having health issues. I don’t know much about her and learned what I have from others.
She knows that her time is near, yet refuses to tell the people she loves that they mattered in her life. This stranger may have a lot of guilt in her heart. She lived life keeping people at a distance and never opening herself up to love. I know she had a son that she has only seen once in 30 years. She never went out of her way to even meet her own grandchildren of this son. She traveled all about but yet these lives remained strangers.
This is the stranger whose life I will be touching today. She is my mother. As written, I've only met her a few times. The reasons why would make a book in itself. The point is that she will soon be passing on. Her body is starting to shut down and yet her mind is still crisp. Strokes have made her a prisoner of her own body.
I knew that I couldn't let her pass without telling her I forgive her. There were times in my past where I needed her more than anything else on earth, and she was no where to be found. She knew where I was, but wanted nothing to do with the lives she left behind. She left all of her kids in a situation to fend for themselves.
I wrote her a letter and said that I was sadden by the news of her health, and that I forgave her for actions made decades ago. As children we don’t always understand what’s taking place when a family is splitting up. We want to blame one or the other and scream ‘what about me!’. The letter was hard to write but it was the right thing to do.
We need to forgive the people who have hurt us the most. Not for them but for us. It was important to me to have this stranger know that she can forgive herself as well.
Posted by Mike and Bobbi Stouffer